Pairing: Dominic Monaghan/Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan/?

Rating: This part is PG15
Disclaimer: We do not know these men, therefore this is total fiction. We make no money from this at all.

Feedback: Yes, always appreciated. Either to perhobfan@yahoo.co.uk or lychelle@mindspring.com

Summary: Late 2002, leading up to the premier of The Two Towers. It would make more sense to read the prologue first: from Dom's POV, Elijah's POV as expressed in his on-line journal, indicated by italics

***

Journal Entry

He just left. Shut the door quietly, too. He's so damn considerate. Before he left, he came over and put his hands on my shoulders, squeezed ever so gently, practically breathed all my hair up and then he rested his chin on top of my head. If laptops came with rear-view mirrors I’d probably see him all misty eyed and loving. Didn’t make me turn to see for certain though. Didn't stop me minimizing the window till he left either. No need for him to read my journal, my private thoughts. He’s so loving; dropped a "love you, mate" into my hair and then tousled it all up - he knows I hate that but he was probably winking and how could I be mad? So... here I am, alone again. Just me, you, and a bumper bag of chips. Sounds good to me. I’m trying, really, I am. I want to let it go. Trouble is, it won't let me go. I need to know.

***

Dominic sighed when Liv began to shake her head and motion with her hands in a ‘hell no’ manner.

"You’ve got to be kidding," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I might not be au fait with the must have fashion for today's young men, but even I know crap when I see it."

Dominic stifled a smile, marvelling at Liv's way of making her insult sound charming, how her (very cute) Yorkshireman boyfriend had influenced her. Of course Dominic was rubbing off on Elijah too, so it only seemed fair. He stared at the silk briefs in his hands, a swirl of tangerine and chocolate that had looked so much better from six feet away. "Uh, maybe you’re right." He felt like he was at the end of his rope, or at least pretty damn near it. "I hate shopping. I have no idea what to get him." That’s what Liv was there for.

"Honey, two and half years together, and you still don’t know how to shop for him?" She certainly knew how to sweet-talk.

"Well, yeah. But... I really want to get something special. Not special as in sentimental or anything. Just-"

"Give me these." Liv snatched the briefs from Dominic’s hand and tossed them at the waiting store assistant. She had the set look on her pretty face of a woman on a mission.

"Any ideas, then?" Dominic rolled his eyes when he heard the whinging of his own voice. "God, I’m pathetic."

"No, you’re not! You're a guy in love with a guy and you're just being a guy, which means being totally useless at shopping. But you're not pathetic. I think it's... cute." Liv flicked back her glossy hair and appraised Dominic warmly.

Dominic knew that she’d grown to think of him as a little brother over the last few years - not so much chronologically, but more as a way of pigeonholing him, just as Billy was marked down as her little brother's cheeky mate. It helped to differentiate between them. And Elijah? Well, little brother's soul mate? Little brother's reason for living?

"Okay, that’s it. I’m going to take you somewhere to get Elijah’s perfect present," Liv said, decisively, taking Dominic’s hand and pulling him along with her as she headed toward the exit. "Trust me - I'm a girl."

***

Journal Entry

I must be out of my mind. I honestly thought I’d thrown that phone number out. And yet I knew exactly where to find it.

This doesn’t feel right. Doing something like this. More underhanded than the fucking tabloids. But it isn’t about wanting to know what he does twenty-four hours a day. It’s about knowing for sure that I’m not making a mistake, knowing for sure that I can trust him again. It’s important that I do this. He’s serious about us. He told me he only wants to be with me. So it’s important that I do this. He hurt me. Lied to me. And still I don’t know the whole truth. I only know that he did it, that he was with someone else in New Zealand. But who? And for how long? And how serious was it? I don’t want to throw it back in his face. We’ve fought enough, and he’s sorry for it. I believe him when he says it was a mistake. But I still need to know who it was.

I can’t believe that I just typed all that. It seemed like a jumble of words in my head, but looks even worse on the screen. Is this even rational? Having him investigated... followed? It definitely doesn’t feel right. What if he finds out? He’d never forgive me. For hiring a fucking detective? No, I can’t do this. This is crazy.

***

It seemed to be enough to make him forget that his racecar was finally in the lead. "What’s this for?" Elijah asked, setting down the videogame controller and looking at the package that been tossed onto his lap.

"Open it." Dominic began to bite his lower lip, then stopped himself. Wouldn’t make a good impression if he were clearly nervous. Nervousness would mean suspicion, and suspicion would mean distrust, and...

"It’s not my birthday," Elijah said, scrutinizing the package, shaking it.

Dominic frowned at the lack of enthusiasm. "Oh, isn’t it?" He looked around the room, as if expecting a calendar to appear out of nowhere. "I could have sworn it was January-"

"Dom, what are you-?"

"Of course I know it's not your sodding birthday, Elijah!" Dominic shoved his hands into his pockets, hoping he wasn't pouting too much, but just enough. "Aren’t I allowed to give you things without an occasion?"

"Oh."

Dominic watched Elijah suddenly tear into the present with a vengeance, ripping away the carefully constructed edifice of tissue and ribbon - Liv’s artistic contribution to the whole thing. He was glad that he’d drawn the line at purple paisley.

Then for a second, just one second, Dominic saw Elijah as he must have looked circa North. It had been a joke between them to apply a periodic table of film titles to mark Elijah’s age. Dominic loved the film as he loved every single film of Elijah’s - because captured in celluloid was the boy he never met.

"So - no occasion? Just.." Elijah waved his hand over the white cardboard box on his lap, the perfect present sitting untouched within.

"Uh, well." Dominic’s nervousness had returned tenfold, his throat tightening, heart starting to beat briskly. He knelt down on the carpet, then wished he hadn’t, thought he might be looking quite idiotic. But he stayed on his knees and took Elijah’s hand which had been scratching at an overlooked price tag, hoping Elijah wouldn't laugh at him – not that, please. “To be honest, I haven’t quite figured out how to say this yet. Not that I’m unsure about it, I just don’t want to sound like an idiot. You know?" he said quietly.

Elijah, meanwhile, still wasn't smiling, and his face was somehow grim, as if he were awaiting bad news. "Just, just say what you need to say."

"Well, I was thinking that we could have a thing. A get-together at a nice place outdoors with our friends. And well - have a party... type of thing. For us. To celebrate us. God, that sounds worse than I thought." Dominic's eyes, at some point that he couldn’t remember, had dropped from the blank expression on Elijah’s face, settling on the faded denim hugging Elijah’s knees. He heard the box slide from Elijah’s thighs, and managed to find his voice. “I want to make this real, but not naff like letting doves loose or anything. Just a thing." With all the time that he’d had to prepare, Dominic didn't know why he hadn’t come up with a word for it yet. Maybe there was no word for it. "A commitment... thing." And when Dominic had finally gained the nerve to raise his eyes, it occurred to him that Elijah’s eyes couldn’t have been capable of looking any more beautiful than they were right there and then.

"That’s - wow," said Elijah, his eyes a sparkling announcement of the smile that then came to his lips, and proving Dominic wrong completely. "Wow, Dom."

"Wow, you’re all for it? Or wow, ‘get off the fucking floor, you fairy?’"

Elijah’s hand tightened its grip on Dominic’s before he grabbed the other hand. He slid off the couch, falling to his knees to meet Dominic face-to-face.

Dominic enveloped Elijah, pressed fully against him, felt his solid form moulding to his own. It might just be okay, he thought, the relief so palpable that when he released a breath that he hadn’t known he had been holding, it came as a surprise. "I didn’t plan to get on the floor for this," he said, blushing a little and smiling, almost shyly.

"Wow, I love you." Elijah simply said, then the time for words was gone.

Smiling into their kiss, Dominic slowly kicked one of his legs out, letting Elijah lower the both of them to the carpet without breaking contact. At that moment, beneath the man he loved, Dominic considered himself the luckiest man alive. He had everything he wanted. Nothing could spoil it.

Continued with Part Two of "Trust Lost"